By Hayley Robins, Senior Accountant at Hive Business

Dentists often seem prone to absorbing other people’s values. This isn’t a trait that’s limited to dentists, yet as a group, in my experience, they do display a need to conform. They often copy each other and make warped, unhelpful comparisons around success.

You often hear people say things like, “He has four practices, he must be doing well.” But no one stops to ask, “What if all four are only breaking even?” (This happens.) Similarly, a flashy practice might be the only one in town with CEREC, but it doesn’t sound so great when you discover its surgeries aren’t full and the machine was bought on finance.

What can dentists do to get away from unhelpful beliefs around success? The work of American psychologist Carl Rogers might help. He said your personality is built out of three pieces: the real self (who you truly are), the ideal self (who you would like to be) and the self-concept (how you see yourself).

Your self-concept is a lens through which you see the world but it’s often invisible to you and can be warped by values you’ve picked up from other people. So what you perceive might not be accurate.

To some extent everyone maintains a self-concept that’s at odds with their true feelings in order to win the approval of others and fit in. But a strong self-concept is flexible and allows a person to confront new experiences and ideas without feeling threatened.

Let me, then, offer a few ideas. Let’s say you are unhappy because you are overweight. Essentially there are two ways to feel better: keep judging yourself harshly and hope this will motivate you to get rid of the weight; or get rid of your judging attitude and feel OK about the weight. With the first approach you change your real self, with the second you change your ideal self.

Dentists can have exacting standards as business owners, clinicians and employers (hugely different roles demanding different traits), but is it ever OK to say, “I can’t do this”? If you stopped comparing yourself to other people, maybe you could figure out what your real self needs. This isn’t a bad business model either, because wellbeing breeds productivity.

Our diagnostic day helps clients to clarify what their ideal self and real self are up to, so that they have a better shot at fulfillment. Sometimes an outside perspective can help. Maybe your self-concept needs to move closer to your real self, and perhaps your ideal self needs some work too.

Who knows, when you realise your ideal self isn’t really you, you might outsource it and get a business manager. Imagine the benefits — not just mental and physical wellbeing but financial too. Start by imagining that your parents, your peers, your alma mater, and your competitor down the road don’t exist…

If you would like to discuss the benefits of a business manager and the roles of everyone in your practice, please get in touch on 01872 300232 or email us at hello@hivebusiness.co.uk.